I was making dinner yesterday evening, when I got a call from one of my supermoms. She asked me if I was sitting, and then told me the sad news. Max's sweet little buddy, Samantha, had passed away. She was his date to the opera in the spring.
She continued talking, but I just wasn't hearing the words. In my mind, I was thinking, who did she say? Surely not, Samantha. She was doing so well. She just turned 4 last week. She was doing summer school. She wasn't sick, or in the hospital. Surely not.
Then it hit me...and I was glad I was sitting down, because I suddenly felt very weak. I never really understood that phrase, "Are you sitting down?". I don't think of myself that gets moved so easily by news.
But, this news of our sweet little buddy, brought tears to my eyes, and a heaviness in my heart. I tried to place my feelings, and I think the shock and pain and emotion come from knowing it was so sudden. Yes, she had an illness not too unlike Max's, and we parents of our kids with metabolic disorders, and mitochondrial diseases, like Samantha had, tell ourselves time and time again, they have no prognosis...what they have now will ultimately take them away from us. But, it usually is when they are already sick, their bodies can't fight anymore. I guess, I thought we would be expecting it, when the time came for one of our little buddies to earn their wings.
It didn't happen that way. It is shocking and jarring. And one day it will be us. And it will never be the right time. And it will be devastating for everyone who knows us and Max, just like it is now for Samantha's family.
I guess those are the feelings. The extreme empathy for this family. The complete sadness, for her mom and dad. Knowing, that Samantha is no longer fighting is comforting to know, but, I also know that my friend is starting a very different fight, a very different life, without her precious little girl.
Of course, my thoughts and constant prayers are with them. I'm happy to have known her...to have tickled her little peanut feet. And to have seen her gummy smile that made the entire room sparkle. Fly high little Sam...sweet sweet girl.