This evening, as I was looking through the photos from the week, and planning on what to update my blog with, I came across this lovely photo Steve captured.
Man...what a doozy of a day that was. I was holding Max because he was refusing to sit in any of his chairs without getting out of them. Our living-room looked like a durable medical equipment show-room. We had his wheelchair, wedge chair, beanbag seat, and chill-out chair all in there for his positioning needs, and he wasn't tolerating any of them.
So, after the hundredth time of pulling him up in one of his chairs, I got him up in the chair with me so I could feed him without him going all over the place.
I'll be the first to admit this is not the most flattering photo of myself...but an important capture all the same. It's an honest shot of what it's like sometimes around here. That same day was also filled with laughter, and playing, and having fun. But life with Max isn't a non-stop inspirational story.
Sometimes life with Max is just downright hard. There are moments of absolute exhaustion. And feeling completely inadequate for what he needs. And just needing to hold onto him for a few minutes to calm his ever-growing bursting at the seams self.
There has been a lot of regrouping going on in my head the past couple of weeks. I've been a bit more quiet online, because we're going through a growth developmentally, and, physically with Max. And when that happens...that means all my energy needs to be focused on him.
I'm hoping the week ahead has a lot less clutter in my mind, and a lot more clarity on how to move ahead with all the things that I need to do to get Max to the next level he's trying to get to.